Saturday, March 23, 2013

Michele Bachmann and our Minnesota Spring

This lovely farm, just up the road from our home,
is only a few hundred yards from the 6th Congressional
District where the embarrassing Michele Bachmann
serves as a Congresswoman.

Even though spring is officially here, it’s colder than a witch’s chest in Minnesota. (I don’t know if I’ll get away with that or not!)
by Charlie Leck

Let’s put it this way. The witch is Michele Bachmann, sixth district congresswoman from Minnesota, and she is one cold bitch… er, witch! I’ve never met a chillier dame in my life. Whenever she opens her mouth, the winds come blowing down from the great northwest and the entire state is blanketed in ice. I can’t explain the science behind this, but if we ever want to join the warming trend that the rest of the nation is talking about, we’ve got to get rid of the icy congresswoman.

Here it is, the third day of spring and it is barely going to get above freezing in Minnesota. The cold must have addled Mrs. Bachmann’s brain because it is on the loose again and the rattling sound it is making is overwhelming.

The congresswoman turned on President Obama again last week. I don’t quite get it. There’s all kinds of work to do in congress and the lady (if you dare call her that) from Minnesota wants to attack the president as if the campaign has started up again. Mrs. Bachmann is on some kind of rant about the dangers of Obama Care – that it is going to kill untold numbers of woman, children and seniors. No one can get a handle on what she’s trying to say because it’s all so irrational. There ought to be some kind of law protecting us from the woman’s explosive mouth.

People all around the state are wondering.

“Uh, what? Would you repeat that part about the movie projectionists in the White House who are forced to spend the nights there in case one of the first daughters wakes up and wants to watch a movie a 3 o’clock in the morning.”

“Umm! And then, repeat that part about the part about the dog walkers who you say the White House hires to take the presidential dog out for midnight strolls. And also that stuff about the five chefs on Air Force One.”

How do you make this stuff up, congresswoman? You are a fantasy machine! You ought to leave Congress and go on out there to California where I think you can buy that rope legally.

Charles Blow, writing in the NY Times this week, said of Bachmann: “She burst back on the scene with a string of lies and half-truths that could have drawn a tsk tsk from Tom Sawyer.”

Blow goes on to say that “people like Bachmann represent everything that is wrong with the Republican Party. She and her colleagues are hyperbolic, reactionary, ill-informed and ill-intentioned…”

The goofy congresswoman from Minnesota has spent the last week making a huge fool out of herself again. In doing it, she also deeply stains the good name and reputation of the Grand Old Party.

Listen, she’s just got to be beaten in 2014. Even Republicans are coming around to realize this. Mercifully, we can not let her go back to Washington. It’s doing some serious damage to her brain. We’ve got to get her into some kind of institution for treatments. She’s got to be kept away from sharp objects and self-published books by fools.

Oh, my! I hope you haven’t spent time following the Michele Bachmann saga of the last week. Of course, I have! I’m hooked on the drama. I find it more intriguing than even Downton Abbey. Insane woman destroys her reputation while her family, including the Lady Dowager, stands helplessly by with no way to stop her.

The woman has utterly destroyed herself and no one – no one, mind you – not even the Koch brothers – take her seriously anymore. She’s nothing but a silly comic book character whose antics go far beyond the realm of the believable. And, her stuff is not selling anymore! No one is buying it. No one really gives a damn about the stuff that spews from her lips (as ugly as it is).

Ms. Bachmann is like the little boy who cried wolf just too many times. Now folks just turn and laugh at her. The rage in her eyes concerned us once. It doesn’t anymore because we’ve all become aware that is just an inner imbalance in her that can’t be controlled.

She doesn’t draw crowds any longer. News people of all stripes refuse to take her seriously. If they need something comical for one of their broadcasts they might run a piece about her utter stupidity, but she doesn’t get serious time anymore. Her stuff has grown stale and no one cares. How sad!

The Washington Post gave Ms. Bachmann four Pinocchios again last week for some of her ranting against the President. Again, I say: "Who cares?" We’re so used to it now; though it remains pretty embarrassing for those other members of the House of Representatives.

A little piece of her congressional district is just a mile or so up the road from our place. I plan to get involved over there in a campaign to end her tragic tenure in the U.S. Congress. Enough, already! Really!

“Ding-dong! The wicked witch is dead!”


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1 comment:

  1. How did she ever get re-elected? Is "rope" legal in her district?