Thursday, June 12, 2008

The USGA has Mucked it Up!

Our governing golf organization simply tries too hard!
by Charlie Leck

Father’s Day is always very special for me. For years I have made clear to my children what I would appreciate most on this day designed to honor fathers. That is, please leave me alone. I don’t want to be taken to brunch. I don’t want you all to come on over for a party. I don’t want gifts. Enough with the funny ties! No more framed photographs that I haven’t the space for anymore! Forget the ideas about a drive into the countryside.

It’s U.S. Open Day – the final day, if there is no tie! I want the house to myself so I can sit and watch quite as long and as much as I please.

There is a Stone Arch Festival in Minneapolis on Sunday. It sounds like great fun. There will be artists and great food and music and games! Enjoy it! But, leave me to the TV and I’ll grill a couple of brats and throw sauerkraut atop them with a large dollop of Stadium Mustard from Chicago. I will try not to miss a shot or a moment of this golf tournament that the USGA is trying so hard to ruin.

Yes, ruin!

Michael Campbell and Geoff Ogilvy and Angel Cabrera? Yes, that’s a question mark!

It seems the silly kings and queens of golf, out there in New Jersey, have boasted for years that they want their crown jewel golf championship to identify the best golfer in the world. Give me a break! These conceited, self-deceiving rubes have virtually ruined the championship event by trying too hard. Too much length! Too much grass! Too much speed! Too many silly shots!
These jerks have created monster courses – not good courses – and, in competition, they forced the equally foolish ruling idiots at Augusta to do the same.

The worm is turning and they don’t even see it! The PGA Championship and The Open (played in the UK) are storming past them to become the tournaments that truly identify the world’s finest – Woods, Woods, Mickelson and Singh at the PGA – Harrington, Woods, Woods and Todd Hamilton at the British championship.

The winners at the U.S. Open have become the guys who can, frequently by luck, most often avoid the phony bear-traps that the USGA lame-brains have laid out for the players. Mickelson calls the changes at the 13th tee “the biggest waste of money that I’ve ever seen.” The 6th hole will be a par 4 that measures up to 515 yards. Depending on the winds, some guys may not reach it in two. Grass around the greens will be stupefying length. The Open organizers say this brings out the great short games, but, in fact, it often brings in, too much, the element of luck. The speed on the greens will be fun to watch, but the health of the greens will suffer greatly unless there is some blessed rain.

I hate to watch the golf-snobs bobbing around the golf course with their great looks of importance glued to their faces. They think they’re showing the PGA how to run a ‘real’ championship. And, all the while, their event slides away into unimportance when it comes to highlighting the greatest players in the game. It seems, instead, the organization thrives on foment. It’s of no importance, but I’ve decided, after 40+ years of faithfulness, to give up my membership in the hoidy-poidy organization.

Jay Flemma writes that there is some hope for Torrey Pines and the viewers.

“Ironically, the flat greens, familiarity and lack of strategy may mean more birdies, more excitement and more roars from the gallery. The "restrictor plate" the USGA puts on a golf course is lessened this year, so this will be the true test of how good Davis is at set-up and whether he will avoid the mistakes of his predecessor, Tom Meeks.”
The NY Times story yesterday said that Mickelson’s criticism of the 13th tee placement is about the only criticism of the golf course that’s been offered this week. Nonsense! That’s because they only talk to USGA puppets and the players who feel they need to be politically correct. Most of the guys know they’re about to go to war and they’re just keeping their mouths shut.

Well, here’s hoping I’m all wrong because I’ll watch nearly every second of the TV production. I promised my wife I’d man her booth at the Farmers Market for her today, so I’ll miss the play this afternoon. However, I’ll have the video tape rolling.

I just don’t want luck to determine the winner – as it so often does in this event – and I want to sense that a truly great player has won the championship. Campbell, Ogilvy and Cabrera are wonderful players, but, sorry guys, I can't include them on my list of the best in the game.

No comments:

Post a Comment