What a Waste of Time

Forget that last blog! Don't waste your time!
by Charlie Leck

There are more important things for you to investigate. For instance, we've got to get to the bottom of this dap business.

That was not a typo! I didn't mean dam(n) business – as in whatever happened to Lake Delton. Lakes just don't disappear overnight, taking houses with them. Do they?

Dap is the now popular ritual of touching fists in greeting or in acts of a congratulatory nature – like Tiger and Stevie do when golf's greatest sinks a 78 foot triple-break sidewinder of a putt.

Right here, in Saint Paul, last Tuesday night, Barack and Michelle dapped each other on public television. A lot of us thought it was cute. Then, I read in this morning's paper, E.D. Hill of Fox News "recognized it for what it could be: 'a terrorist fist jab.'"

My god! Scratch that earlier insignificant blog. I've got to bring you this startling news. My son-in-law may be a terrorist. On the golf course a couple of weeks ago, after I hit a lovely approach into the first green, he dapped me. I know not what compulsion forced me to accept the dap and dap him back. Rest assured! I will have a profile run on him and alert the FBI to the possibility.

I wonder what it means when the sports guys, after a great achievement, leap from their feet toward each other and bump chests. I think it's a double-whammy dap wap and it spells trouble – with a capitol T and it's happening right here in River City folks.

Folks Respond:

Trouble, oh we got trouble,
Right here in River City!
With a capital "T"
That rhymes with "D"
And that stands for DAP,
That stands for DAP.
We've surely got trouble!
Right here in River City,
Right here!
Gotta figger out a way
To keep the young ones from doin' that dap!
Trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble...

Go to Media Matters and watch Colbert react to E.D. Hill's startling report. By the way, she's been fired for stupidity!