Friday, July 24, 2009

Oooooooh, New Jersey

You're doin' fine New Jersey... New Jersey, NJ
by Charlie Leck

Well, my wonderful home state, the land of my youth and innocence, has made a laughing stock of itself again – the land of Tony Soprano and the burial grounds of Jimmy Hoffa! Ooooh, New Jersey, where the stink rises up and the crooks run the show, look what you’ve gone and done again.

This time Rabbis are getting arrested along the with mayors and assemblymen, and there are some ladies among the clerks who've been thrown in jail.

It’s another scandal in New Jersey. Oh, hum!

New Jersey now moves into first place in blatant criminal activity – first place in scum bags and rotten politics – moving aside the amateur attempts of Louisiana and Illinois. It’s certain – as certain as sunshine in Camelot – that New Jersey is riddled with crime and rotten politics. And the rogues show no party favoritism. They come from both sides of the aisle.

You know, in New Jersey, I think the rottenness – the dirtiness – the filth – and the devil is in both the polluted air and the vile water. Oooooooh, New Jersey, what a shame!

44 people were arrested in a law enforcement crack down on crooks in New Jersey yesterday. Among the arrested and sure to be indicted were 3 mayors, 2 state assemblymen and 5 rabbis.

The New York Times
says this case “could rival any of the most explosive and sleazy episodes in New Jersey’s recent past.” [Read the NY Times article and see the remarkable photographs]

The acting U.S. Attorney in New Jersey said that “corruption was a way of life” for the defendants and added that ordinary citizens of the state “don’t have a chance” against the methods of those he arrested.

Assemblyman L. Harvey Smith, of Jersey City, was one of those handcuffed yesterday. Smith had run on an anticorruption platform in the last election. He is charged with taking $15,000 in bribes.

Peter J. Cammarano III was also arrested. He is the mayor of Hoboken.

The Secaucus mayor, Dennis Elwell, was also arrested.

The Hoboken mayor is caught on tape agreeing to help a developer get favorable treatment in return for cash.

David M. Van Pelt, a state assemblyman from Ocean County, sits on the legislative environmental committee. He’s accused of accepting money to get the donor the environmental permits he needed. He assured the snitch that the “the environmental committee works for me,” and took $10,000 in cash.

A survey of some of my old friends in New Jersey seems to show that the people thought these public officials were tumbling for far too little money.

"If you're gonna be a crook," one old friend said, "you's may as well go for it!"

I’m not going into any more of the horrid details here. Read about it if you like. My purpose here is to just reminisce about the state of my youth and how that state can’t stand to see any other state rated as more crooked and corrupt than it is itself. All of the activities in Illinois lately must have made the crooks in NJ a little upset and they knew they had to push their criminality just a bit more.

Oh, New Jersey, where the bad guys simply run the show!
Oh, New Jersey, the land where crime falls as heavy as the snow!

Where the bums and gents alike are all big crooks!
Oh, to live in a state where we all might get our fortunes tooks
And the land is so grand
With the bucks right at hand
For any jerk who wants to join the mob

Oh, New Jersey, where the Jews and Catholics get along!
Oh, New Jersey, the mayors and councils lean towards wrong!
Where the felons, mugs and thieves are all so strong!

Oh, to live in a place where the money flows free
Just like the waves that rise upon the sea
With the cops and the mayors on your side
You’re free to rise right up there with the tide
And grab some dough
From the jerks who don’t know
That in Jersey they’re set up to take the falls
And the rabbi laughs and the priest guffaws
For in Jersey, you see, it’s the lambs that get fleeced
And the innocent fools
Are like the wind that blows across the stinky pools

Ooooooooh, New Jersey
the land of my youth and home of my hope,
You’re a land like no other in such scope

Oooooooooooh, New jersey,where the wind lifts the stink
and dribbles it like rain
and the smell of cash is all the folks in Jersey really like

Oooooooooooh, New Jersey, the land of my pride
Where my kin folk abide
And crime seems to glide
So freely all along the shore

We’re only sayin,
You’re doing fine, New Jersey,
New Jersey, N.. J…!

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