Why would anyone….?

I was wondering lately while I wandered!
by Charlie Leck

The stock market is up this morning – in Asia and Europe that is – and that makes me wonder why anyone would trust the market right now. Seems like a good time to buy – when share costs are low – but the old rules don’t apply anymore.

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In utter amazement, the other day, on the freeway, I watched a guy in a sleek, little Audi speed by me on the left; and then he cut right back in front of me and swung into the lane to the right of us in order to pass one car; and then tore back into the center lane and on over to the left lane in order to pass a few more cars. In all of this, he never used his signal lights one time. I wondered about that and why anyone would be that impatient and that crazy.

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Last week, after a golf round, while sitting on a lovely al fresco patio, with other people at tables all around us, two of the guys from our foursome went on and on in a loud discussion about a half-buck difference in the results of the wagering for the day. When I tried to say something, changing the subject, one of my friends told me to wait, to be quiet, because “this is serious, here.” I wondered why anyone would think so.

I’ve been wondering a lot about such things lately.

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I was passing through a small town this past week and realized I was so hungry that I felt weak. I looked for some place to get some food. The only place around was a very small MacDonald’s. Oh, boy! I’m off glutens completely and, of course, I can’t have things like french fries anymore, but I formulated a game plan. I carried my copy of Michael Lewis’ latest book in with me and ordered a quarter-pound burger and a diet cola. When the order came, I sat down and peeled away the hamburger bun and set upon the meat, melted cheese, lettuce, mayonnaise, mustard, ketchup and pickle with a vengeance. After a few bites, I closed my book and thought about what I was doing. I could taste mustard, ketchup and pickle, but I didn’t taste anything else. I broke off a small piece of the burger patty and popped it into my mouth. No flavor! None! Not the burger or the cheese! This was a wretched meal and I pushed it away, but sat staring at the two slices of hamburger bun. I drew the meal back toward me and broke off a piece of the bread. My, it tasted good. I’d made a discovery. The only taste in a Mac meal is the bun, the ketchup, the mustard and the pickle. Everything else is totally tasteless and uninteresting. I wondered why anyone would eat at these places!

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Glenn Beck made some strange comments in a speech last week. He went on strongly about how anger just must be removed from American politics. We needed, he said, to return to rational and meaningful discussion and debate, rather than shameful shouting and name-calling. What? I asked myself if I had missed something along the way. Glenn Beck is saying this? The man of rage and vile accusations that have no basis in fact. Come on! You’ve got to be kidding! I wondered why anyone would regularly listen to Glenn Beck. The man is a total phony.

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Then I began wondering why there is such a predicted rush back to the Republican Party in the elections this November. Isn’t this the same party that gave us deregulation of the financial industry? Didn’t they give us the economic disaster caused by sub-prime mortgages? Didn’t they give us wars in Iraq and Afghanistan that have cost us nearly 4 trillion dollars in a time when we can’t afford it? Isn’t this the Party that reduced taxes on the rich so that they pay only a paltry sum to the government when compared, in ratio, to the amount the middle class worker pays. Isn’t this the Party that borrowed from the poor to fatten the rich? What am I missing here? Why would anyone vote for the Republicans?

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I turn 70 today. Jesus, man! It’s got me shaking my head, wondering how the years could possibly have gone by this quickly. I remember when…. Oh, let’s not go there. I just started wondering why any woman, in her right mind, would sleep with a 70 year old man. Yesterday, in contemplation of this day, I was grumbling about being so old. My wife made a clucking sound as she does when she’s bored with my griping and said: “Look at it as an accomplishment!” I wondered why anyone would say anything as dumb as that, anyhow!

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I played golf in a little tournament at my club on Saturday. It got me to thinking. I can remember when I could play a pretty decent game of golf. I can also remember playing with some old-timers back then. They were nice enough guys and it was enjoyable to be with them, but I wondered back then why anyone would keep playing golf when they really couldn’t hit the ball very well anymore. Now I am one of them and I wonder why anyone would suggest I stop playing this wonderful game.

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I’m going downtown tonight. I’ll have a birthday drink with a friend and then, for my birthday, my wife is taking me to Target Field for a Twins game against the Tigers – that’s, of course, if the Lord is willing and the creek don’t rise. This makes me wonder why anyone would ever use an expression like that.

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