Michel Bachmann is a Minnesota Corn Flake

Minnesota is famous, famous, famous for breakfast cereal with this being the home of the Breakfast of Champions and all.
by Charlie Leck

Betty Crocker is from Minnesota. Even though she’s a fictional character she was a huge power in food economics. This is the home of General Mills and Pillsbury. It’s the home of Wheaties, Cheerios, Lucky Charms, Chex, Golden Grahams, Kix and many, many other successful breakfast cereals.

Minnesota is also the home of the biggest flake of them all – and that’s Congresswoman Michel Bachmann. And, at the moment, she’s as big a brand name as Wheaties or Cheerios. She’s as big as General Mills and Pillsbury put together.

And the news that rocked America this week was the general opinion that Michel Bachman came out of the New Hampshire GOP presidential candidate debates as the clear winner who gained more ground than any other candidate.

And I am sitting here this morning shaking my head, grinding my teeth and pounding my fists into my desk and wondering what in the hell is wrong with the world. I couldn’t understand how any congressional district in my state could have sent such a dumb-ass idiot to the Congress and now there are serious people in America thinking about putting her ass in the White House.

Oh, my! We really have approached the gates of Hades and America has sunk nearly to the rock bottom of the free governments of the world.

I don’t know how to explain it. I don’t think I could bear to live in a nation that had Michel Bachman as its President. This is the same woman who, while she was a state representative here, was crawling around in the hedges, bushes and general landscaping growth at the state capitol, in the dark of night, trying to listen to the conversations of members of the opposing political party. She was trying to make a damned determination about who was a real HOMOsexual.

Honest to God! This is the woman who has made so many erroneous and untrue statements in the last 8 years that she will mandate the largest fact-checking brigade in the history of politics JUST to check up on her.

This is the woman who couldn’t wait to get to war against Iraq and Afghanistan but now blames all the combined military expenditures of the United States on President Obama. This is the woman whose memory about our current financial crisis can not extend back to the Bush administration. She is currently blaming the entire collapse of our economy on Barack Obama.

Her major goal in seeking office is to make sure that “Barack Obama is a one-term president” no matter which idiot takes office to replace him.

Now that Anthony Weiner has resigned, there is not a crazier politician in America than Michel Bachmann. Here’s just a few of her craziest quotations:

“But we also know that the very founders that wrote those documents worked tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States.” [Huh? What? 1776? 1783? 1863? 1865? 140 years old? Are you flat-out crazy or what?]

“I find it interesting that is was back in the 1970s that the swine flu broke out then under another Democrat president Jimmy Carter. And I’m not blaming this on President Obama, I just think it’s an interesting coincidence.” [Are you blaming the early incident on President Jimmy Carter – or just Democrats in general? Oh yes, and are you flat-out crazy?]

“Gay marriage is probably the biggest issue that will impact our state and our nation in the last, at least, thirty years. I am not understating that.” [Uh, what? The last thirty years? You are not understating that? What? Are you flat-out crazy?]

“And what a bizarre time we’re in, when a judge will say to little children that you can’t say the pledge of allegiance, but you must learn that homosexuality is normal and you should try it?” [What judge was that, Congresswoman? And, what children? And, are you flat-out crazy? I know you are homophobic, but are you flat-out crazy, too?]

“If we took away the minimum wage – if conceivably it was gone – we could potentially virtually wipe out unemployment completely because we would be able to offer jobs at whatever level.” [Hmm? Whatever! Is there a middle class working stiff in America who will really vote for this whacko? She’s flat-out crazy!]

“I just take the Bible for what it is, I guess, and recognize that I am not a scientist, not trained to be a scientist. I’m not a deep thinker on all of this. I wish I was. I wish I was more knowledgeable, but I’m not a scientist.” [Yup, this time I agree! You are NOT a deep thinker and we all also wish you were more knowledgeable. We also wish you would tell the truth more. You are just flat-out crazy!]

“I wish the American media would take a great look at the views of the people in Congress and find out: Are they pro-America or anti-America?” [Congresswoman, have you ever heard of McCarthyism? Oh, yes, I forgot! You are not a deep thinker. NO? You are flat-out crazy!]

“It is a brand new, billion-dollar high speed train that is going to go from Disneyland up to Las Vegas… Harry Reid, the Senator from Nevada, was behind this measure, and it makes us wonder, is he more interested in making sure kids start gambling at younger ages?” [Umm! Um! Uh! Did she really say that? You gotta be a nut-case, Congresswoman? Do you really think you could be President? You must be a flat-out crazy nut-case!]

“Normalization through desensitization. Very effective way to do this with a bunch of second graders is take a picture of ‘The Lion King’ for instance, and a teacher might say, ‘Do you know that the music for this movie was written by a gay man? The message is: ‘I’m better at what I do because I’m gay.” [Did you say you are gay, Congresswoman? Is that what you are trying to get at? Or are you just dumb and flat-out crazy?]

“Carbon dioxide is portrayed as harmful. But there isn’t even one study that can be produced that shows that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas.” [Er, what? Did you really say that? Chill out, girl, and read some science. Are you flat-out crazy? Do you really stand by that statement? And, do you really want to be President of the U.S.A. or what?]

“The President of the United States will be taking a trip over to India that is expected to cost the taxpayers $200 million a day.” [Congresswoman! My Lord! You were off on this one by about 200 million dollars a day. You are a crazy witch, woman! Flat-out crazy!]

“We will talk a little bit about what has transpired in the last 18 months and would we count what has transpired into turning our country into a nation of slaves?” [Um, Yogi Berra never said it better! What?]

Folks, I’m just beginning here. One could go on and on, but then you’d think I was picking on this flat-out crazy woman.

In these debates that are going on right now, Michel Bachmann is actually being taken seriously. Are you flat-out crazy, or what?

I confess: Michel Bachman is from Minnesota! I’m embarrassed.

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