Music by Muzak Ain’t No More!

If you can believe what they say in the newspaper, all you elevator riders can relax. It seems Music by Muzak is finished. Can we say “it’s the day the music died?”
by Charlie Leck

The newspaper said this morning: “Music by Muzak is dead! Gone! Finni! Over! Done for!”

I sat back in my chair and whispered to myself: “Thank goodness!”

I remember so many elevator rides, when I looked around the small cabin at my fellow passengers. Not one of them enjoyed it.

“Forget it! Give me silence or a fart by the rummy standing next to me! Just knock off the absurd music, will ya?”

And now it’s gone! Horray!

I gotta move on! There’s more important things to write about. The President played golf with Tiger Woods over the weekend – his little President’s Day vacation. I wondered about the criticism; you know, what’s the leader of the free world doing playing golf with the world’s leading philanderer? Is there no forgiveness? No rebirth? Bring on the mood music?

I’m listening now to a new album I just purchased: Car Wheels on a Gravel Road with Lucinda Williams. I’m not good at categorizing music, so I don’t know what to call it. If pressed, I’d say “Southern Country Rock Blues!” Whatever, it’s the kind of stuff I like listening to while I’m writing or reading. This one is about a drunken angel, or “a derelict in your duct tape shoes, your orphan clothes and your long dark hair.”

The sun came up. It was another day.
And the sun went down, you were blown away.
Why’d you let go of your guitar?
Why’d you ever let it go that far?
Drunken angel, could’ve held on to that long smooth neck,
Let your hand remember every fret,
Fingers touching each shiny string
But you let go of everything!

Drunken angel! Drunken angel, you’re on the other side.
Drunken angel, you’re on the other side.

Don’t ask me why I bought the album! I heard someone I respect talking about it on the radio. They played a tune called Lake Charles and I liked it. I’ll keep it! I like Lucinda’s gravely, distinctive voice. And it definitely ain’t Music by Muzak!

Now, on those crowded elevator rides you’ll get to listen to Mood Media. That’s the Ontario company that owns the now defunct Music by Muzak and Mood Media promises the experience will be all different.

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